Anxiety In a Negative Perspective

Photo Credit 📸 Ryan Chilton

I hate asking for things when I’ve come so far. But at times I feel less of myself since I have to take the bus since I don’t have a car.

I’m at work dealing with SOOO much stress. Maybe I need more rest. I don’t know If I grabbed the safety or bulletproof vest. Maybe I need more with this distress.

I’m at the bus stop waiting for this thing. Should I have a smoke, a coffee, something? The bus is here, finally I feel like it's been a whole damn year. The bus driver is stressed, it’s hard to hide my sneer. It stinks worse than a sewer, I hope my thoughts aren’t too loud for everyone to hear.

I’m back at the shelter. I feel warmer so it’s harder to see that its hell here. It is better than the Street. It is something I need. But I know I deserve more since I have been focused on everyone else. I can't believe that that I couldn't see. How is it I forgot about me?

— Poem Explained

[I hate asking for things when I’ve come so far. But at times I feel less of myself since I have to take the bus since I don’t have a car.]

I have this pride thing about asking people for things. I would much rather earn it with hard work. Even when I don’t have what I need, I still detest asking. This feeling is a feeling and not really a negative aspect, thought, or idea.

[I’m at work dealing with SOOO much stress. Maybe I need more rest. I don’t know If I grabbed the safety or bulletproof vest. Maybe I need more with this distress.]

Dealing with having to ride the bus because I have no other choice and living in the homeless shelter is a ton of extra unnecessary stress, I shouldn’t have to deal with but am currently. I mentioned bulletproof vest because I live in a very dangerous city. Perhaps not the deadliest but nonetheless there are rapes, murders, guns, car jackings, and more...

[I’m at the bus stop waiting for this thing. Should I have a smoke, a coffee, something? The bus is here, finally I feel like it’s been a whole damn year. The bus driver is stressed, it’s hard to hide my sneer. It stinks worse than a sewer, I hope my thoughts aren’t too loud for everyone to hear.]